Toppings Titans
by Dragons are real2
Summary: Read to find out...


Raven stood in the middle of her room, thinking about something or other.

She had been standing there for quite some time: two hours in fact.

Now any sensible person may believe she is thinking about something deep and meaningful such as 'what is the meaning of life?' or 'is there a heaven?' or 'when was the last time Beast Boy washed?'.

Unfortunately, those sensible people would be deeply mistaken, for Raven was thinking of something very different.

Raven was wondering what to wear.

Now, reader, do not be alarmed; our beloved empath has not transformed into a fashion crazy Barbie worshipper overnight.

She does not suddenly spend hours obsessing over her appearance and not need to prepare herself for parties ten hours in advance.

I know you're thinking 'but Raven never has to think about what to wear!' Although you may also be thinking 'Beast Boy never washes!'. She has a good reason to be in this kerfuffle.

Let us start from earlier that morning to give you some clue as to what I mean...

 _Earlier that day_

Robin sat at the kitchen table. His mug of coffee was slowly growing colder in its position halfway to his mouth. That day's newspaper wilted in his loose grasp. The coffee slopped over the sides of the chipped china mug creating a small reservoir of lukewarm caffeinated goodness. It seeped into the edge of the newspaper, causing the mayor's shiny, pompous face to frown.

Robin took no notice of these things however, as his mind was elsewhere.

Starfire, to be precise.

He was watching her mash what appeared to be green potatoes with a rolling pin. Her glowing face was smeared with God knows what and her hair was fluffed up on one side of her head.

And Robin was staring at her, completely in a daze, with the girl oblivious.

A trickle of drool slugged down his chin.

"Robin..."

She was smiling seductively at him now, beckoning to him.

"Roooobin..."

She moved closer, puckering up her soft pink lips...

"Robin wake up!"

"Huh, wha-?"

The Titans leader shook his head.

Starfire was still at the stove, mashing...whatever it was, blissfully unaware of the goings on around her.

A grey gloved hand was waving in front of his face, frantic to get his attention.

"Robin!"

He snapped his head round a little too fast and saw Beast Boy grinning at him,

"What d'you want, Beast Boy?" Robin grumbled rubbing his neck, annoyed that he had been interrupted in his fantasy.

"Oh, nothing much," he said, pretending to examine his fingernails, "Just five hundred dollars, a moped and a pet axolotl."

The leader stared.

"Why would you want a pet axolotl?" he asked.

"Because I want animal company."

"Go live in the zoo. Maybe a chipmunk will adopt you."

Beast boy considered it.

"I prefer quokkas," he finally said.

Robin shook his head. Beast boy was a strange specimen.

"Seriously, what d'you want?"

Beast boy looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I honestly don't remember."

Robin banged his head against the table.

Suddenly, the green teen clicked his fingers. His rubbery grey gloves were not meant for clicking fingers though and made... Well they didn't give the desired effect.

*squeak*

Beast Boy looked down at his gloves and erupted into peals of throaty laughter.

Robin quirked an eyebrow, shaking his head exasperatedly.

The changeling finally calmed down, only to rub his fingers together and resume his laughing.

He fell to the floor and banged his fist on the linoleum floor, tears of mirth streaming down his green face.

Just then the door opened to reveal a whistling Cyborg.

"Hey y'all, what's hap-"

He spotted Beast Boy rolling around on the floor, clutching his stomach and laughing and spun on his heel. "Aaaaaand goodbye."

He walked off in search of semi-civilized company.

Starfire peered over the kitchen island to get a glimpse of Beast Boy.

"I believe the popular term is 'ROFLing', yes?"

Robin put his face in his hands and sighed into his palms.

"Whew!" BB breathed out, having finally controlled his 'ROFLing'. "Now why did I click – sorry – squeak my fingers in the first place? Oh yeah."

He stood up, faced Robin and took in a breath as if wanting to say something, but then paused. He scrutinized his leader, one eyebrow raised, stroking his chin in deep concentration.

He then licked his thumb and reached it toward the Boy Wonder's chin.

Robin blushed, realizing that he must have been drooling at Starfire. He eyed the slobbery thumb warily as it advanced toward it's droolified target.

Beast Boy rubbed vigorously at the drool causing Robin to scrunch up his face in distaste and turn away.

"Mu-u-um… Stop it…" Robin whined, recoiling. He attempted to send death glares at the same time as scrunching up his face away from his teammate, giving him the appearance of someone suffering from constipation.

SSatisfied, the changeling smiled, ruffled Robin's hair and pinched his pale cheek, making it glow red with pain.

"There you are, mummy's big boy. Youwa big boy? Awnchya? Awnchya?" Beast Boy cooed, Robin's cheeks still held hostage between his petting fingers.

"Ooooh!" Cried Starfire as she approached the two boys. "I wish to join in the babying of friend Robin."

Robin's eyes widened beneath the mask and he shook his head looking panicked.

Starfire bent over and pinched his cheek and Robin, biting his lip in pain let out a small whimper. The princess then bent over and pecked his red cheek, making it (if it's possible) even more red.

His head flopped onto the table, dreamy look on his crimson face.

This, obviously, caused more laughter from Beast Boy.

" _Robin the red cheeked traffic light,_

 _He has very shiny cheeks_

 _If he sees a dude called Slade_

 _Li'l Robbie just totally freaks"_

He sang as Starfire dragged Robin out of the kitchen by the arm, the leader having turned to grinning green-tights-ified mush.

 _"_ _Li'l Robbie's in love with Starfire_

 _If you say so though he'll have a fit_

 _He puches you and says you're lying_

 _Which of course, is utter bullsh-_ Hey, I just remembered what I was gonna tell you! Batman is on the face-call thingy on the TV!"

This snapped Robin out of his reverie just as Starfire dragged him out the door…

"WHAT?"

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